


Living With Yourself

by Ariasune



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Daemons, Daemonverse, Gen, daemon, hdm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 09:37:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2020173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariasune/pseuds/Ariasune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You need to start self-loathing when they're young.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living With Yourself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Magpied_Spider](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magpied_Spider/gifts).



"You're nothing but fucking trouble," Dean threw himself onto his suitcase, prying it shut under his weight. The movement is harsh, like skinning a rabbit, "You're the worst."

Otsandi lowered her head, legs stiff as she watched Dean in silence. Her ears are flat on her head, eyes mournful.

"I hate you," Dean spat out at his soul, and Otsandi whined quietly, near-silent.

* * *

They had been about to move on, anyway, but when Otsandi - settled, strong; a wolf - had padded to school at Dean's side, they'd been given a wide berth. Which wasn't unusual, wasn't even bad, except Miss Lemon (who liked Dean anyway, said he was bright) had called him out of class. Sat him down in a plush chair that tried to swallow him whole. Gave him a biscuit. Smiled very nicely. Insinuated something was terribly wrong with his daemon. Asked how Sam was doing.

Not that Miss Lemon was wrong - Dad had been pretty clear on that front. Otsandi was a problem. A p-p-p problem. A problem the way you said a nest of vampires was a problem. A problem with everything that entailed when Dad said problem. Otsandi was a problem that could get Dean - could very well get Sam - taken away. Otsandi was a problem.

Either way, they had to leave because of it. and Dad had yelled black and blue and bruised for it.

* * *

 

"Damn it, John," Dean flattened low on the floorboards, Otsandi laying next to him, her ears pricked towards the stairwell, "You know what I think," They listened cautiously, eaves-dropping because this was about Dean and Otsandi and the Problem, "This isn't something like scraped knees from climbing brick walls - this is the boy's soul we're talking about!"

"Bobby, I know-" 

"Oh do you now?" Jehostrama snapped, her voice steely and thin, "Well what do you have to bloody say for it?" 

Dean draped, spilled loosely on the floor, bones suctioned dry and limp.

Something was wrong with her.

"We'll keep moving, that's all," John sounded strangled, and Otsandi wriggled away from Dean, when Bobby and Jehostrama scoffed in unison, "If Dean hadn't-"

"If _Dean_ hadn't?" Bobby roared, anger shaking up through the floorboards and leaving Dean feeling nauseous. He scooted back hard, stomach turning, and fled as softly as he could back along the corridor. Tumble-rolled into bed with Sam and Tiordy. Otsandi hovered in the hallway, left behind.

She was broken, and when she nosed at the door, whuffing, Dean ignored her. Bobby hated her, Dad hated her-

"Mmr Dean...?" Sam yawned, squirming towards Dean. Dean gave his ankle a kick and Sam whinged, "Heey."

"Don't fidget," Dean huffed, hunkering under the covers.

"Sandi's at the door," Sam mumbled, sleepy and confused.

"Yep," Dean swallowed hard, settling deeper into the bed.

There was an unsure silence, before Tiordy piped up, "Ain't you gonna' let her in?"

"Maybe," Dean rolled over, presenting his back to Sam. Sam stared at Dean, but after a moment, slid out of bed, and tiptoed to the door to let Otsandi in.

* * *

 

"She can run behind the car," Sam whipped around to gape at his brother, but Dean had already closed the car door. Otsandi sat outside, head tipping at the door sadly and Tiordy fluttered up to the window in the shape of a beetle. Turned into a small ferret, pawing the window with a plaintive and puzzled snuffle.

"But Dean-" Sam objected immediately.

"She's big enough," Dean shrugged, "It'll teach her long-distance running. She's a wolf, right? Should learn that," Tiordy all but leapt back towards Sam.

"Dad," Sam bundled Tiordy close to his chest, and appealed to the highest power in the land, "Tell Dean to let Sandi in!"

"Dean, let-" John started but Heibet cut him off, staring out the front window.

"Dean's right," Heibet nodded, "Drive off and she can meet us when we stop for gas in a few miles."

* * *

Another school gone up in smoke, and Dean made Otsandi run the whole drive to Bobby's.

* * *

"Jehostrama," Tiordy fluttered up to sit next to the raven on the desk. Sam was absent, in that inconspicuous, normal way Tiordy and Sam used their separation. Tiordy shifted into a tortoise, and shuffled closer to Jehostrama, "What's wrong with Otsandi?"

Jehostrama turned her head to flash a golden eye at Bobby, who had looked up from his books to meet her stern gaze. Something unknowable and inherent passed between soul and man, and Tiordy shuffled, flickered into a dormouse and then a small grey moth.

"Is, um, is there something wrong with me too?" Tiordy darted above the desk anxiously, "I know I'm the wrong sex," He mumbled, "Is- is it because Sandi settled?" An agitated figure of eight over Jehostrama's head, "When I settle will Sam not love me anymore too?"

Bobby clenched his fist, and Jehostrama took off, landing desperately on his shoulder. Her talons dug in, and she nosed at his neck unhappily, whilst Tiordy made tighter and tighter loops of fear.

"Ain't a damn thing wrong with either of ya," Bobby's voice came out filtered, tightened and he crooked a finger to stroke his daemon's head soothingly, "What's this about Sam not loving you?"

"Ever since Sandi settled, Dean don't love her no more," Tiordy landed on the desk, wings twitching.

Jehostrama grunted, "Sure, he does, he's just a bit twisted up."

"Can," Tiordy was now a delicate cygnet, waddling awkwardly and cautiously towards Bobby, "Can you untwist him?"

"Well someone oughta," Bobby slammed his book shut.

* * *

Jehostrama landed on Dean's knee, wings fluttering whilst her claws founds purchase in the old denim, "Hey Jeho," Dean set the rifle he'd been cleaning aside, looking up as Bobby approached, "Bobby, how's it?" Dean smiled weakly, and Bobby cuffed him on the head, as he sat down beside Dean, "Ack, what'd I do?" Dean cupped the back of his neck.

"You're being an idjit," Jehostrama's beak clacked, "That's what that's for."

"Dean," Bobby rubbed his face, adjusted his cap, "Where's Sandi?"

"Dunno."

"Whaddaya mean ya," Bobby rolled his eyes, imitating some version of Dean that was at least a dozen times as witless, " _Dunno_ ," Jehostrama shifted from foot to foot, "For god's sake, boy, Otsandi is your soul!"

"Well I don't want her," Dean yelled hotly, "She's broken!"

"I swear I'll kill John and Heibet," Jehostrama muttered darkly, fanning her wings and preening at her the underside of the feathers, "Got the boy thinking like this, god, you start 'em early for this."

"Like what?" Dean demanded, clambering to his feet and sending Jehostrama flapping. She squawked, setting down on Bobby's hat, and Dean clenched his fingers into tight fists, glared at both Bobby and his daemon.

"Boy," Bobby growled, "There's not a damn thing wrong with her," Jehostrama's beak clicked again, "And you thinking there is means something's wrong with you."

"That's it then!" Dean snarled, scrambling backwards and kicking up dirt in his haste, "I'm broken then!"

"Dean," The voice Bobby was using was commanding, warning - parental even. Dean responded to it gutturally, sitting down with an angry expression fixed on his face, "Let me get a good look at you then," Bobby scooped Dean towards him, Jehostrama hopping to his shoulder to tip her head and peer one-eyed into Dean's face, "Hm, what have we got," Bobby thumbed two pinprick tears from the corner of Dean's eyes, "We've got two perfectly good, apple green, fully functioning eyes, gift from your mama," Bobby tipped Dean's head up by the chin, giving him a resolute look, "Not that glasses means your eyes don't work, if that's how it'll be. Just means they need a hand."

"Gerroff Bobby," Dean wriggled, and Bobby held the boy fast.

"We got a working mouth here alright," Jehostrama chipped in, "Eats food enough for an army too, seen it myself."

"About right," Bobby boxed Dean lightly about the ears, "Got two ears that don't listen right enough, but they'll do."

"They'll do," Jehostrama agreed, "Ah, what's this Bobby mine?" She took off in a blur of wings, alighting on the dusty she-wolf who had staggered in from the track, "We've got another good mouth right here, lots of teeth," She peered into Otsandi's eyes, "Two of those working eyes, and a good nose, and-" She poked her beak into Otsandi's ear playfully, "Yep! Two more ears!"

"Strong hands," Bobby noted, nodding at Dean, "Strong will."

"Strong heart," Jehostrama tapped Otsandi on the head with her beak.

"She's a strong soul," Bobby patted Dean on the head, ruffling his hair, "You treat her proper; your dad, Jeho and me, even Tio and your little brother? Those things'll come and go, but Sandi here?" Bobby held a hand out, and Jehostrama flew to it unbidden, "You're stuck with each other the rest of your lives."

Dean and Otsandi watched each other nervously, before Dean unwound from Bobby's loose hug, getting to his feet gingerly. Bobby gave him a push towards the wolf, "Go on you idjit," Jehostrama cawed, "Say you're sorry."

Dean took a cautious step towards his daemon, and she faltered. He broke into a sprint, throwing himself at her and wrapping his arms about her neck, sending up a cloud of dust from her fur. They rolled over, knocked with the force of the tackle, and Otsandi licked at his face and he yipped at hers. They tangled happily in a heap in the dirt, before Bobby pulled Dean out by the scruff, "Well, go clean the muck off your daemon, boy, don't dawdle."

 

 

 

 


End file.
